Soldiers Home But Their Battles Still Raging

By Lisa Cypers Kamen

Many times when I am speaking to soldiers on deployment or recently back from deployment, they share with me the stressful feelings associated with the changes that have occurred. It’s an adjustment for everyone, you, your family and your friends when you leave and when you come home.

Everyone knows the pre-deployment home front battle – the one you have with your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, child or parent that helps you all say goodbye because you’re now ready to go and they’re ready for you to go.  This can happen also when you come back – the return home front battle. We all have to adjust and there are better ways to adjust than picking a fight. 

When deploying or returning, it is helpful to recognize that these fights are common.  Someone has to put up the flag and say we are fighting because it’s hard to say goodbye.  Someone has to put up the flag and say we are fighting because it’s hard when you come home and though I love you it really upsets my routine.  Arming yourself with this knowledge can give you the minute to take a breath and steer the situation away from battling on the home front.  Knowledge is powerful and when you have power, you have the power to create a happier life for you and your loved ones. 
So the next time you are preparing for deployment or returning home, give a thought to what are really fighting about.  You might just find that a happier goodbye or a happier hello is just around the corner.

Shining Service Worldwide is a charitable organization that supports all women who are part of the military family.  Our goal is successful re-integration back into civilian life

Power of Choice

By Lisa Cypers Kamen 

Did you know that one of the quickest and easiest ways to feel better in your day to day activities is through the power of choice – specifically through the power of choosing your own thoughts.  Most people are not even aware that they can think about their thinking!  There’s a fast way to figure out what is going on in your head that can make or break your day. 

Grab a piece of paper and start writing down all the things you are thinking about. There might be many things, lots of to-dos, or there may be very few.  Either way it’s all right to start with what you have rolling around in your mind.  Don’t worry about spelling or grammar or handwriting, just dump.  Think of it like dumping our your survival pack.  We have to clean that out.  Same as we have to clean out our thoughts that don’t help us. 

Identifying thoughts that don’t help us feel good about ourselves or our situation is one of the first ways to begin to help you choose what you want to think about.  Choosing to think only good, powerful thoughts that make it possible for me to do my job, handle my platoon or serve my family is a great start to bring happiness back into our lives.

Independent filmmaker, author, happiness coach and speaker Lisa Cypers Kamen creates blogs to entertain, enlighten and educate our service men and women along with their families as well as support our troops www.hh4heroes.org  Listen to her on  www.harvestinghappinesstalkradio.com or download her show at  www.itunes.com.

 

Shining Service Worldwide is a charitable organization that supports all women who are part of the military family.

Set Down your Burdens

By Lisa Cypers Kamen  

One of the things I have noticed in my practice, especially with those returning home from deployment is the desire to jump back into the mix of home life while still carrying the effects of deployment. These effects can range from memories, to feelings, to thoughts and to fears.  It’s a huge adjustment moving from one completely different reality to another.  Something that many service members and their families realize, but don’t recognize the profound effects it can have on all parties. 

So for today as you are reading this, I want to invite you for a moment or two to set down your burdens.  Release yourself from the thoughts of your past deployment.  Release yourself from the thoughts of your current family situation.  Just give every worry, every care, every feeling over to the universe for a while.  Inhale deeply a few times and just listen to the sound of your own breathing. It’s in these moments that we find peace and we begin to heal ourselves from the inside out.  

Taking a break from our problems can help distance us from the emotions that contribute to the all too familiar feelings over overwhelm. If you pause in your busy day, make a space for yourself to just be, hand over your worries for a while, you can begin making a plan for peace.

Harvesting Happiness with Lisa Cypers Kamen.  If you are looking for how to become a happier person, tune in weekly at www.toginet.com Wednesday’s at 12:00 pm to 1:00 pm EST.

Shining Service Worldwide supports all women connected to the military family.

Forgive Yourself

By Lisa Cypers Kamen, Harvesting Happiness 4 Heroes 

Things happen. You don’t mean for them to happen but they do.  Sometimes we do things at the time that seem like a good idea, only to find out later that they are not.  Or we say something and there’s no way to take that back.  These things happen to everyone but when you are leaving for the next few months, wishing we could take those things back can weigh heavily on a service member’s heart or those of their families. 

Knowing that we can say the two most powerful words, I’m sorry, can make a difference.  It doesn’t minimize us. It doesn’t make us small, wrong or insignificant.  It gives us the power to heal a broken relationship. It gives us the power to leave to do our job without regrets. 

Serving in the military is hard on us, our families and our psyche. Knowing that we can forgive ourselves is probably the most important lesson we can learn. Forgiveness changes us and those around us and allows us to go do what we have to do without a heavy burden.  It allows us to focus in on our target and do what we need to do. 

This same concept applies to returning.  Maybe we didn’t call as much as our mom wanted us to. Maybe we didn’t write our girlfriend or boyfriend as much as they would have wanted.  Maybe we did or said something in the heat of battle that we regret.   Its time to offload the guilt. Its time to make amends and forgive ourselves and others for being human. 

Independent filmmaker, author, happiness coach and speaker Lisa Cypers Kamen creates these blogs to entertain, enlighten and educate our service men and women along with their families as well as support our troops. To contact Lisa, email her directly at lisa@whatisyourhappiness.com and check out her websites at www.whatisyourhappiness.com , www.harvestinghappiness.com  , and www.hh4heroes.org   and listen to her on  www.harvestinghappinesstalkradio.com or download her show at  www.itunes.com.

Harvesting Happiness for Heroes is a pending 501(c)(3), non-profit corporation. Our mission objective is to offer support services to Warriors and Warrior families challenged by Combat Trauma, PTSD and post-deployment reintegration issues.  We offer Battle Buddy workshops, family awareness training, online community support, one-on-one coaching services, as well as retreats for Warriors to decompress from battle and understand the tools available for them to adapt their military skills to civilian society.