Life Leadership: If you Poke a Pin in It

By Sandra Beck 

Recently I had acupuncture done for my headaches. I have a lot of them and you can pretty much set your watch by them on Mondays and Tuesdays.  Those are my show days and high stress for me around my company, kids and social obligations. 

Mitra my doctor said to me that she sticks needles into these energy channels and interrupts them so the make new pathways and free up the meridian or something like that. I didn’t really understand the physiology but I got the point- literally. 

When we interrupt a pattern or a habit – either through change or sticking a needle in a meridian we force ourselves to do things a little bit differently.

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results I needed to stick a pin in my life if I was every going to get out from under these headaches. 

So this week I moved my schedule around and lightened my load on Monday and Tuesday.  I still got a headache both days but they weren’t the debilitating ragers from the past.  I am going to continue to stick more pins into my schedule and break up the channels that don’t serve me.  It’s worth a try, because I was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  No more insanity. 

Sandra Beck is the host of Military Mom Talk Radio and the single mother of two boys ages 5 and 8. She is an author, internet brand strategist. She has worked with the United States Navy, Marine Corps and Army for over 20 years and is passionate about helping women lead their families successfully the specific challenges of military life.

Shining Service Worldwide is a charitable organization that supports all women who are part of the military family.  Our goal is successful re-integration to civilian life.

Life Leadership: Stale Doesn’t Work

By Sandra Beck 

Recently I found this great brownie recipe online – the good kind from scratch where you shave the chocolate into bits and mix the ingredients from their original source, not from a boxed package. 

I was so excited and since I had a lot of wonderful chocolate left over from the holidays I made a massive batch filling up 6 pans thinking I would share them with neighbors, family and friends.  I used this huge 5 pound bag of flour that I had removed from my mom’s house after she died. I didn’t check the date.  The flour was years old but I didn’t know that because the packaging was unopened. 

The brownies came out like bricks.  So bad I had to soak the pans just to clean them.  They never rose to the occasion and the flour was stale.  I stood there in the kitchen so frustrated until I thought about the lesson here. Sure, use fresh ingredients got that.  But for us as women it goes deeper than that.  

How can we expect to rise to the occasion when we are the same old stale self?  I realized with the brownie bricks that I was stuck in some of my old ways and if I expected my life to rise to the occasion I would need to use a fresh me and not the same old stale me.  I never did make any more brownies because the fresh me doesn’t want to get fat…lol…but I do show up fresh everyday so I can rise to the occasion. 

Sandra Beck is the host of Military Mom Talk Radio and the single mother of two boys ages 5 and 8. She is an author, internet brand strategist. She has worked with the United States Navy, Marine Corps and Army for over 20 years and is passionate about helping women lead their families successfully the specific challenges of military life.

Shining Service Worldwide is a charitable organization that supports all women who are part of the military family.  Our goal is successful re-integration back into civilian life.

Fort Sam Houston, Here I Come!!

by Doris Rivas-Brekke

I will be the first to say I loved my time at Fort McClellan, Alabama, but I was from southern California which was very different.  By the the time I was nineteen I had already travelled to Spain on my own.  I considered myself a world traveler and trust me, Alabama didn’t hold a candle to Spain.

I could not get out of the south fast enough and I hoped and prayed that not all the Army bases were like Fort McClellan.

When I arrived in San Antonio, Texas, I looked up at the sky and could tell immediately I was in a “real” city – my heart skipped a beat!  Just maybe, Fort Sam Houston would provide the life I was looking for in the military.  I wanted some fun; I wanted to meet new exciting people, and I wanted a career I loved.

My introduction Advanced Training Courses was intense. The particular course I was taking, mental health counseling, was one of the toughest and the failure rate was high. If you didn’t make it, you were reassigned where the military needed you and those places weren’t my first choice – not by a long shot. 

I really wanted a medical career and that goal was going to take all the mental fortitude I could muster.  I quickly realized perseverance was going to be key.  One thing I found out quickly is doing well in the military takes a double dose of personal strength. 

Next time I will share some of my adventures at Fort Sam Houston. My name is Doris Rivas-Brekke. I served in the U.S. Army as a mental health counselor in the medical corps. Using my military benefits I went on to achieve my Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. I am currently creative director for Military Mom Talk Radio and share my story with you to inspire you and the women following in my military footsteps.

Shining Service Worldwide is a charitable organization that supports all women who are part of the military family.  Our goal is successful re-integration back into civilian life.

 

Life Leadership: Innocence Lost and Found

By Sandra Beck 

One of the things I know about life is that over time we lose our innocence – especially after traumatic events or situations such as deployment or loss.  It’s like you come back and you are in a plastic box where the whole world continues around you but you just observe it from inside that little bubble. You can feel completely detached and separate from the emotions, but little by little you start coming back.

This is where and when you have to really take stock of your experience and make a decision. Do you want that experience to make you hard, impenetrable, and unreachable? Do you want to take that experience and process it with a friend or professional and let it become the fabric of your life but not your whole life? 

I vote for the latter. When I came out of my own darkness I made a choice not to be bitter, angry, and a fortress that kept everyone away. It was a choice and something that would have been very easy to do. But I didn’t and as a result found a very rich and fulfilling life.  It could have easily gone the other way if I let it. I’m not saying that I don’t have bitter, angry feelings from time to time – but I have made a conscious effort to let them go and return to my original state of innocence where the world is a bright shiny place to explore. 

Sandra Beck is the host of Military Mom Talk Radio and the single mother of two boys ages 5 and 8. She is an author, internet brand strategist. She has worked with the United States Navy, Marine Corps and Army for over 20 years and is passionate about helping women lead their families successfully the specific challenges of military life.

Shining Service Worldwide is a charitable organization that supports all women who are part of the military family.  Our goal is successful re-integration back into civilian life.

Life Leadership: Women’s Emotional Cycles

By Sandra Beck 

I am sure I am going to take a lot of flak for saying this but in my experience as a woman, and having women friends, working with women clients and being raised by a passionate loving mother and sister here is what I learned. I checked it out with my psychologist friend and she agreed so I can’t be that far off the mark. 

I think we as women cycle through a set of high emotions in about 45 minutes and through a full emotional cycle in about 3 hours. I noticed this one day when I was really upset about the Commander I have been seeing and my friend reminded me of the 45 minute high emotion cycle. I went for a walk and true to form in about 45 minutes I started seeing things differently.  In three hours from my initial freak out I saw the situation very differently. By the time I did communicate with him I was able to do so in a manner that treated us both with respect and allowed our friendship to flourish not be damaged. 

I’m not a shrink or a doctor but I have spent so much time with women where I see this happening and find it to be true to myself. I hope the next time you are in high emotion think about the 45 minutes and the 3 hour rule. It made a difference for the better in my life. I hope it does in yours. 

Sandra Beck is the host of Military Mom Talk Radio and the single mother of two boys ages 5 and 8. She is an author, internet brand strategist. She has worked with the United States Navy, Marine Corps and Army for over 20 years and is passionate about helping women lead their families successfully the specific challenges of military life.

Shining Service Worldwide is a charitable organization that supports all women who are part of the military family.  Our goal is successful re-integration back into civilian life.

Hooah! Pass the Ammo! Graduation Day is here at last!!

By Doris Rivas-Brekke

Worldwide

Graduation Day can be the most beautiful two words a person can hear.  For me they were magical and meant the end of my basic training.

But, along with the happiness came sadness.  I was going to experience this moment with no family to share this day with.

I had done the unbelievable; I had taken the first step towards becoming a real soldier.  Me, the original California girl; me, whose father feared that I would humiliate his great “Marine name”; me, whose idea of work, was cleaning my bedroom.  Here I was taking the first step to prove to my family that I could be someone.  I could be a real U.S. Army soldier! But no one would be there to hug me, hold me, say to me “well done, Doris!”

All of the women who graduated with me knew we had accomplished something special, something big, something life changing. I knew tough roads were ahead.  I still had to get through advance training and my advance school was one of the toughest – the medical training school. But today was my day.  So I would enjoy this day, and yes I would cry, but I would be joyful and I would be proud; proud to be a U.S. Army basic training graduate! And no one was going to take that away from me!!

Many life lessons were learned that summer. But more than anything, I learned that I had great potential.  The  Army was helping me gain confidence in myself. My hope is that all of you who are reading my blogs will look at your service careers with the same enthusiasm and hope. 

Going forward, I look forward to sharing my advance training stories with you; the journey only gets better — Fort Sam Houston here we come.

My name is Doris Rivas-Brekke. I served in the U.S. Army as a mental health counselor in the medical corps. Using my military benefits I went on to achieve my Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. I am currently creative director for Military Mom Talk Radio and share my story with you to inspire you and the women following in my military footsteps.

Shining Service Worldwide is a charitable organization that supports all women who are part of the military family.  Our goal is successful re-integration back into civilian life.

Life Leadership: Getting Counsel

By Sandra Beck 

We’ve all gotten bad advice. One time I was told to die my hair red or brown, anything but the natural blond I was born with. I listened. I looked like a witch.  When it faded, I looked like an old witch. Not good.  Not good at all, but the think I learned most about that situation was that my bad hair do was my choice. I chose to listen to the man who ultimately lied and cheated on me.  Not smart at all. 

So the lesson I learned was to think about where I was getting counsel and most importantly why. When I stepped away from myself, away from who I was and what I wanted and sought to please another person instead of myself I began to listen to the wrong voices.  Of course, I had to keep going and not only listen but follow in footsteps that were not mine. 

I survived my wrong choices.  I survived my mistakes and I learned to listen to the most important person in the equation – me.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t need counsel and I don’t ask people for their opinion, but ultimately the responsibility falls on my shoulders.  From my head to my toes, the choices I make now are all about me. 

Sandra Beck is the host of Military Mom Talk Radio and the single mother of two boys ages 5 and 8.  She is an author, internet brand strategist and speaker. She has worked with the United States Navy, Marine Corps and Army for over 20 years and is passionate about helping women lead their families successfully the specific challenges of military life.

Shining Service Worldwide is a charitable organization that supports all women who are part of the military family.  Our goal is successful re-integration back into civilian life

Angel of Opportunity – You Just Never Know

By Doris Rivas-Brekke 

Finally that special word was said to those of us who were left.. “pass” and “you can wear your civilian clothes!”  We “ladies” were being rewarded for a job well done…we could go to the dungeon and pick an outfit to wear.   We had to stay on the post and that was fine.  We just wanted to wear “real” clothes and maybe see some men…I got to my luggage as fast as I could and put on some fine California clothes; a little Hawaiian print top and some cute white cotton hip huggers! And that was just for me to go to the PX to shop!!  Off I went to see the “Wizard”… 

The trip started off very innocent. Yes I got dressed up, but it was all fun. But on the way back from the PX, I was approached by a group of men. At first I acted aloof to their calls, but then they started getting a little obnoxious because I was not giving them any attention.  I was getting nervous because they were asking me to stop to talk, but I would not stop. 

Just as I was wondering if I should pick up my pace and maybe start running, a big black car with flags on the bumper came up to my side out of nowhere.  The window in the back came down and there was a beautiful blonde older woman officer.  She asked me if I was alright.  I was so nervous I could not speak. She asked me to get in the car.  So I got in and this wonderful woman chatted with me about my basic training, dropped me off at the barracks and wished me well.  

My staff sergeant came running out and asked me what happened. I explained and he asked me if I knew who I was with, I said no, but I knew she was a general.  He gave me a really mean look and said I had been with the commandant of FortMcClelland. I was in shock, but afterwards I was ecstatic.  I had a feeling that meeting her was a sign from heaven that I truly was going to graduate from basic training. 

When I look back on my short but lively military career, I realized that I had many of these type of “gatekeeper” moments…where people cross your path  to assist you at that time of your life, angels on earth.  So my message to all of you gals is to try to be aware of everyone who crosses your path, because you never who could be that special angel of opportunity.

My name is Doris Rivas-Brekke.  I served in the U.S. Army as a mental health counselor in the medical corps. Using my military benefits I went on to achieve my Bachelor of Arts in Psychology.  I am currently creative director for Military Mom Talk Radio and share my story with you to inspire you and the women following in my military footsteps. 

Shining Service Worldwide is a charitable organization that honors all the women who are part of the United States Military Family.

Remember Me!

by Linda Franklin

People ask me all the time if I was in the military or had someone close to me that was.  The answer is no.  The next question is, so why are you taking such an interest in the women who serve?  My answer is because they need to be remembered. 

This morning Sandra Beck of Military Mom Talk Radio sent me a link to a YouTube video.  It was done by Lizzie Palmer – a 15 year old girl.  Here’s the link to watch it.

Before I watched the YouTube video this morning I was thinking about an event I attended this past Thursday evening.  It was called “In Our Own Voice”:  Women Veterans Tell Their Story.  The performance was produced by Mary Ragan of the Psychotherapy & Spirituality Institute.  It was riveting.  Mary had interviewed many women vets who told her their stories – the good – the bad – and the ugly. It was then put into a dramatic dialogue and performed on stage by four wonderful actresses.  They captured the heart and soul of the women and had everyone in the audience transfixed. 

The stories dealt with everything that women vets traditionally don’t want to talk about.  Everything from sexual trauma, gender discrimination, why they joined the military, to life after the military.  All the struggles were vivid and very little was glossed over. It was designed to honor the service of all women in the Armed Forces and it accomplished that splendidly.

The experience of the women who service our country needs to be honored and the public has to be aware of their sacrifices.

Today there are 30,000 moms in the military and 14.5% of all military are women.   We must remember them, honor them and most of all support them. 

Shining Service recognizes and supports all women who are connected to the United States Military Family.

Life Leadership: The Heart of the Matter by Sandra Beck, Military Mom Talk Radio

By Sandra Beck 

 

When I think of leading my boys through their life and helping them become great men I kind of cringe and hide for a moment, sometimes eating chips to ease the stress. Then I go to the gym and curse every chip still wondering how I as a single mother am supposed to raise two great men.  Then I think about all the leadership training I have received and how much I have done for other people.  You’d think I’d take my own advice… 

So today I thought a lot about what makes a great leader – whether we are leading ourselves, our families, our companies or our troops.  I believe it all comes down to heart. 

In my mind true leaders, regardless of rank, put the team goals at the forefront of the mission and put their own agenda aside.  True leaders work hard to possess the confidence that can be elusive, but is so necessary for the job.  Mostly I think they serve out of love for what they are doing. 

I love being a mom. I love being a friend. I love being in service to my country. The only thing common in those statements are I love.  If you love what you do it becomes effortless.  If you love what you do, you don’t need to be afraid.  I had to remind myself that the heart of the matter is the heart. Lead with your heart but listen to your head and you will achieve greatness in whatever you do – and so will those around you. 

Sandra Beck is the host of Military Mom Talk Radio and the single mother of two boys ages 5 and 8.  She is an author, internet brand strategist and speaker. She has worked with the United States Navy, Marine Corps and Army for over 20 years and is passionate about helping women lead their families successfully the specific challenges of military life.